I struggle a great deal with perfectionism. I work so hard to win the approval of others.
I often convince myself that what I am doing is all for God. But why do I end up exhausted, frustrated, and unsatisfied? And when I receive the approval I long for, why do I always find myself striving for more? My thirst never quenched. My hunger is never satisfied.
After reflecting on the Bible passage below, below are the words that came to my heart as I spoke to Jesus in our time together this morning.
You see, I realized the kind of perfection Jesus is actually calling me to — holy perfection.
“May the God of peace himself make you perfectly holy and may you entirely, spirit, soul, and body, be preserved blameless for the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. The one who calls you is faithful, and he will also accomplish it.”
—1 Thessalonians 5:23-24
Reflection Prayer
Jesus, I am a broken heart in need of mending. I am a wounded soul in need of healing. I am a lost sheep in need my Shepherd.
You know how hard I try to perfectly love you and others. You see my failings and my faults. You see how hard I am on myself, and my subsequent judgment of others.
I can do all things perfectly and be perfect in all ways—in my job, my efforts, my tasks, my projects, my relationships—but unless I surrender all these to You and allow You to lead me in all these things, even when that involves humiliation, mistakes, being seen as less than in the eyes of others, set aside, and apparent failure, I will never be “perfect” in the way You call me to be. Because the perfection I am striving for seeks to serve only my ends, but ultimately will leave me unfulfilled and seeking that which I long for but can never be found.
You call me to holy perfection. It is a perfection of self-denial that consists of nothing more than a complete surrender to Your holy will. It is a kind of perfection that consists not of doing but being. Not in doing things perfectly, but in simply being perfectly united to Your holy will. For then I am doing all that is necessary — gazing upon the face of You, my God, my Redeemer.
Then, living in this holy perfection, I do not need to be perfect in the world’s eyes. Because, in Your mercy, I am continually being transformed by Your love into the uniquely formed, perfectly made daughter of God I was created to be.
This holy perfection is worth every sacrifice, every humiliation, every rejection, every pain, every betrayal, every loss of anything worldly so I may reach all that is heavenly. For in this holy perfection, I will attain all I could ever desire.
I trust in Your mercy, as You annihilate my pride and my sinfulness, and purify my heart of every attachment that keeps me from the holy perfection You desire for me. I offer myself as Your handmaid and receive in return the riches and bounty of the daughter of a King – my King, my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.
Closing Prayer
Jesus, have mercy on my soul; heal my wounded heart.
Inflame my heart with love for You. Give me the grace to know that perfection does not consist in doing things perfectly, but in surrendering to You fully, turning to You when I fall, and never wavering from the hope and faith that my salvation lies within the merciful sacrifice of Yourself on the cross for my sins and my acknowledgment of Your Lordship over my life.
Help me to live in the freedom of the Spirit, trusting in Your mercy, knowing that You know my deepest desire—to be united with You and that my will may be one with Yours.
I place all my confidence and trust in You, Jesus. I surrender my heart into Yours. Amen.