I often have lamented at times in prayer, “O God, why so much suffering?”
Even if it is not my own, it seems many others have so much suffering. Whether it be illness, loss of a loved one, loss of a job, family turmoil and strained relationships, tragedies and natural disasters, or generalized anxiety brought on by a society that seems to be trying to consume the world and everything and everyone in it through fear.
“O God, why so much suffering?”
And yet, I have always had the sense deep within that the Spirit is moving. That God is drawing us inward to Himself. And that God will do whatever He has to do to save as many souls as possible.
It is so easy for me to get caught up in the here and now. I can forget God’s ultimate desire for each of us – to spend eternity with Him.
However, when I ponder God’s ultimate desire, things seem to come into focus. I see my suffering through the lens of eternity.
Many times, it does not make the suffering any less painful (temporally speaking). But it does give me an objective view that puts all I am going through in perspective.
Sometimes it is hard to have this objective view during intense pain and fear.
So, what do I do in those moments?
“Jesus, I surrender myself to You, take care of everything!”
Over and over again, I say this Surrender Prayer until my peace is restored.
Sometimes the peace that God gives me overwhelms me. Sometimes it feels like only a drop of peace falls from heaven so as to give me a glimpse of what I will experience when the suffering is over. But even that drop is still a reminder to me that God has not forgotten me.
Then, He shows me the Cross.
“Jesus, I unite my suffering to the suffering of Your Most Sacred Heart. Make my heart like unto Yours.”
The Heart of Jesus burned with love for us as He hung on the cross. His Heart burned so deeply that He endured the most cruel death to pay the debt of my sins and those of the entire world.
“For the Son of Man did not come to be served but to serve and to give his life as a ransom for many”
—Mark 10:45
I hear His gentle voice speak to my soul, “Will you unite your suffering with Mine?“
“Yes, my Jesus,” I reply.
“Give Me your heart, so I can give you Mine.”
Jesus never promised us an easy life, and I find hope in that.
Why? For me, honesty is extremely important in my relationships with others. Even when it is ugly and hard to face.
And Jesus has never lied to me. Not once. Even when it meant it was something I was not going to like. He loves me too much. He loves us all too much.
“In the world you will have trouble, but take courage, I have conquered the world.”
—John 16:33
“It is necessary for us to undergo many hardships to enter the kingdom of God.”
—Acts 14:22
I know when I am honest with myself and look back over times of great suffering, I see Him everywhere. So in those times as well He remained faithful to His words.
“Do not fear nor be dismayed, for the LORD, your God, is with you wherever you go.”
—Joshua 1:9
So I know that all those who are devoted to Him and who proclaim Him as their Lord and King will also live forever with Him.
“For he is Lord of lords and king of kings, and those with him are called, chosen, and faithful.”
—Revelation 17:14
Perhaps, the question Jesus wants me to ask is not, “Why so much suffering?” but instead:
“How in this suffering are You leading me to spend forever with You?”
“Trust.“
“Trust” is the word that resounds in my heart. He wants my trust. Not for His sake, but for mine.
It is through trusting in Him that I can navigate through the choppy waters of life.
I am nothing. He is everything.
I am weak. He is strong.
I am simple. He is mighty.
I am loved by Him. He is all Love.
In these moments of great clarity, I can begin to rejoice in my suffering because I know through it, He is leading me home to His Most Sacred Heart and eternity with Him.
In His Heart, I see how in loss, I have gained.
How in sadness, He has shown me where true joy is found.
How in anxiety, I learned to trust Him more.
How in despair, I found hope only in Him.
How in pain, He healed my heart.
O God, show me how to suffer well. Show me how to suffer with Your love – the way You loved on the cross. Then the pain will have no hold on me and the fear that seeks to consume me will only be an opportunity to trust in You even more and to have faith in the promise that You will lead me to eternal life. Amen.
“I need nothing but God and to lose myself in the Heart of Jesus.”
-St. Margaret Mary of Alacoque
*Scripture texts in this work are taken from the New American Bible, revised edition.