What great joy fills my heart, as the Lord has given me an eternal longing for Him, and to be with Him forever in His Sacred Heart. So many times I get caught up in the worries of today; how will this work out and that work out? How could everything possibly be okay? And then I think maybe this is what I should do to keep this other thing I worry about from happening. But then the Lord gently, but firmly reminds me He is in control; I am in control of nothing. What great peace fills my heart then, as I know my heavenly Father is firmly in control. He gently reminds me I only need to keep fixed on one thing – getting to heaven to be with Him for eternity.
Resting in His Heart, he shows me what He has for me there, in heaven, and what He has for us all is pure joy, pure bliss, pure love and pure peace. My only focus should be living out every moment with the intention of spending eternity with Him. With the intention of growing in holiness.
When I live this way (which is only by the grace of God and Him reminding me so lovingly, as it is so easy to slip back into worrying about the things of this world and getting caught up in my self-love), I live in peace, true peace. I see others and the world as He sees them with compassion and love. While living in His Heart, I desire to love others selflessly and serve them, denying myself and my desires – even my greatest ones. But it is not me, but Christ’s love living in me. He is transforming me in His love, His pure love.
But it is not always so. I then slip back into the ways and worries of the world. I then again begin to see others as obstacles in my way to obtaining what I want. I become selfish and cold-hearted, impatient, annoyed with having to attends to their needs. It is in that moment, I forget my purpose, my goal, my true desire. I am no longer living in His Heart. But the Lord is merciful and forgiving. I am humbled at His desire to draw me back to His Heart, even in all my miserable obstinacy and selfishness.
At mass this weekend, I knelt down before the mass started and started to pray. I reflected over the past few days and how I had denied the Lord by not denying my passions and not loving others selflessly and by not living in His Heart. I became saddened at my failures in loving Him and others as we are all called to do. I asked the Lord to have mercy on me, even though I didn’t deserve it. It was then I felt His overwhelming love and compassion. His mercy. I felt His love. He didn’t chide me or rebuke me. He didn’t turn away and shake His head. I immediately felt His loving arms of compassion. All He truly wanted was for me to turn back to Him, to give myself back to Him in surrender to His loving Heart. I truly felt Him saying while wrapping me in His pure love, “Go forth and sin no more.” I felt refreshed in His love and mercy. I felt renewed by His peace. I could go forth again, knowing I was not banished from His love, which I deserved through my actions and deeds of denying Him. But I was instead welcomed back lovingly and with joy.
The Lord had mercy on me in spite of all my miserable obstinacy and sinfulness. He loved me not for what I had done, but for who He created me to be. And He gently reminded me to love others and forgive them the way He forgave me. With open arms and mercy. Remembering, we are all sinners. But we are created by Him, loved by Him – always. How merciful is our Lord! May we all come to know His love and mercy and live humbly in His Most Sacred Heart.